The Stuff

Dennis here, and The Stuff is my kinda movie. There are no famous people in it for me to know! And the ending is similar to how i would have done it.

The Stuff is such an action packed movie that there is barely any time to fit the back story into the film. In the first 30 seconds of the film, an old man finds a strange goo coming from the ground at a mine. Of course, his first instinct is to begin eating this strange new substance and tells his buddy that they could make a fortune selling it. Flash forward a few years and The Stuff is a national dessert sensation!

Everyone in America loves The Stuff, except for the rival dessert companies. So they hire industrial saboteur Mo Rutherford to find out what The Stuff really is in an attempt to duplicate the delicious treat. Mo has a terrible southern accent a wicked right hook (which he constantly uses to slug people throughout the film). He goes on a cross country adventure to investigate The Stuff, beginning in the small town where The Stuff was first tested.

Now just to be sure, you said I get to PUNCH everyone I meet along the way right?

The town is all but deserted, except for the gas station attendant (who runs off into the woods and disappears) and the post office man (who ends up being the extra in just about every scene).Here we also meet one of Mo's compadre's in the fight against The Stuff:

 (the link doesn't work if you click it, but you can copy/paste into your browser and it works fine. Its worth the effort!)

http://www.joblo.com/video/joblo/player.php?video=THE_STUFF-Best-Line

After punching out Chocolate Chip Charlie, the pair team up and investigate (steal) the mail from the postal man and learn the everyone has moved to Georgia. Its at this point that we learn The Stuff is BAD stuff, as it comsumes a person's mind and takes over their body. All four of the movie's extras attack Mo and Charlie, who lay waste to them with their bare fists and very easily escape on a boat. The pair splits up and plans to meet up in Georgia; Mo has to go recruit some more friends to combat the stuff.

First on his list is the woman who created the entire advertising scheme for The Stuff, and the second is one SERIOUSLY pissed off 9 year old. We're not sure why, but he hates The Stuff, and he flips his lid after seeing it move one night.

Eat some, and then maybe you can be part of the family again.

His dislike of the snack isn't helped by his abusive father who hits him, and terrible family that completely shuns him for not eating The Stuff. He eventually snaps and the result is one of the greatest scenes ever filmed:

 (the link doesn't work if you click it, but you can copy/paste into your browser and it works fine. Its worth the effort!)

http://www.joblo.com/video/joblo/player.php?video=THE_STUFF-Bad-Kid

Mo arrives at the boy's house and saves (kidnaps) him from his family, and then flies everyone to Georgia to take out The Stuff. Once there, Mo and the girl investigate the factory and processing plant, which is run by Stuffies (people controled by The Stuff). Meanwhile, the boy is still asleep on Mo's private plane when the postal man, who is now a Stuff truck driver, is trying to kill the kid by filling the plane with Stuff. The kid escapes and runs to the factory, which is apparently located at the end of the runway. He climbs into the completely unsafe shelter of a Stuff truck trailer and awaits rescue.

That night at the motel, Mo and the girl are attacked by their mattress, which is full of The Stuff! Unfortunately Mo's fists are useless against the goo, and he resorts to fire to burn it. Sadly, one of the film crew rushes onto the set to make sure the fire is under control and is subsequently socked by Mo and sent crashing into The Stuff:

Hey is everybody - OH JESUS CHRIST!!

Now that Mo and the girl are certain that The Stuffies are out to get them, they sneak back the factory and follow the convoy of trucks to a huge crater where The Stuff comes from. Rather than simply take pictures as evidence, Mo figures that he has to steal one of the trucks in order for the FDA to believe that the Stuff is harmful because its never processed...despite the fact that he was at the processing plant the prior day.

And so Mo sets some bombs, socks a few people, and steals the truck that the boy was hiding in. That's about as far as his plan goes though. This movie has been dragging on for quite some time, and to speed things up, his next idea is to enlist the help of a crazed old Army Colonel who lives in a castle with his own private militia:

"No no...we need you to help us stop THE STUFF!"  "Yea, the Commies! Got it!"

They convince the Colonel to help them by telling him The Stuff is a Communist secret weapon to take over America. At that, the Colonel musters up his troops and storms the factory, guns blazing. They then all fly to Atlanta where the Colonel owns a radio station, and they simply TELL people to stop eating The Stuff. Miraculously it works. It works so well that people have massive bonfires to destroy it. They demolish Stuff stands. They even go so far as to bomb the Stuff factory...it gets pretty violent pretty quick, and after a brief montage of destruction, the threat of The Stuff is over.

Or so we think! The film ends as a cliffhanger with plenty of room for a sequel, with a short clip showing the Stuff as being contraband in the underworld black market! Can you say Stuff 2000?!